Guilty

Have you ever hear someone say, "You know what I mean?"
The next time you do
ask them to repeat what they said
that you were supposed to know and don't.

That way you can be clear about
what it was that you should
feel guilty about not having gotten
the first time they said it
and what you shouldn't have been
thinking or doing instead.

And when you get what it was
look to see if you feel properly guilty
about not really listening the first time.
If you don't
you should feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Because when your commitment is to feeling guilty
it isn't about what you didn't hear.
It's about inventing new shoulds and shouldn'ts..

Why go to work?

Some people go to work today,
to see what happened yesterday,
that keeps tomorrow
from being successful.

Some go to belong somewhere,
because belonging gives them reason.

Some go because they "haffta".
Some go to contribute.
Some go to make a difference.

A few don't go to work.
They go to self-express.

When You Know Where You're Going

When you know where you're going,
tell those who work with you.
People always go along
with those who share.

Windows of the Mind

The mind is a lighthouse.
It has six windows it can open to
to take in what's happening.
Typically it only hears
through one one window at a time.

So if I talk to your mind
through all six windows at once,
it doesn't know which windows to close,
and which to leave open.

And it doesn't matter if you tell it
that's what I'm doing.
It still only listens
through one window at a time.

Listening through all six windows, is called being.

To speak to a mind through six windows,
come from open windowness.
Like right now,

I'm speaking through six windows.
Are your windows open?

The sound is wondrous.

Work

Work all day and rest at night
and you'll never finish.
Do both at the same time
and you're done when you start.

Lot in life

Show me someone who is resigned to his lot in life,
and I'll show you someone who doesn't know who he is.

The first page

This is the first page.
It's your page.
It's a start.
You own it.
Take it.
Make it yours..

If you do the same with your life, it will work

Nonsense

If what I say here makes sense,
don't trust it.
If you understand, don't believe me.
If it's true, I didn't say it.
If you want the truth, ask yourself.

Silence

When you really listen to what being said
you'll also hear what's not being said.
To know the fullness of what's being said, recreate it.
If you can't you weren't listening.

To know the truth of what's being said,
listen between the words. Listen for...

Listen for what the speaker isn't saying about who they are;
not the story they are speaking.
The truth is behind the story.
It's in the unsaid - the silence.

When wisdom talks with itself, you'll hear silence.

Two Kinds of Humor

There are two kinds of humor.

One just naturally bubbles and shares itself..
It comes from who we are.

The other is designed to fit in, belittle, hide, or deflect.
It comes from our opinions about ourselves and who others should be.

Imagine for a moment that there was no God

Imagine for a moment that there was no God. What would that be like?

Who, for instance, would be ultimately responsible? In who's name, or for what ends, would righteousness be operative? Or, would it go away? Would integrity be a virtue? Or even necessary?

Would guns and lawlessness be the norm? If we didn't have religions to use (or to blame) what would be our justification for warring on each other?

What would we organize our selves around? Would we create a different strata of accountability - a newly justified hierarchy to blame? Would responsibility continue to be avoided? Where would we place the blame for global warming - climate change? Or would there even be a phenomenon with that label?

In the US would our right and left wing political traditions survive? Expand? If so, around what ideals? Without religions, would we even have ideals? What justifications would we need/use to avoid responsibility for the acts we commit that destroy, demean, or subjugate each other? Would dominate/avoid domination continue as the default human programming?

If we had no external scriptures to quote, what would we use to author our justifications? Would we need to produce evidence to support our assertions? Or would assertions simply devolve to assessment - no evidence necessary? Sort of like pyramids built to store grain?

I've been dwelling in this inquiry for the past several weeks and I'm amazed with the possibilities and the challenges. Having gods solve so many issues for humans. It really leaves us off the hook. We don't have to confront the consequences of our behaviors or our actions.

I'm still in the middle of this - not yet sure if I like it or not. Not yet sure if I really want to go there or not. I keep asking myself if I'd really be willing to take on being 100% responsible for 100% of what's happening. Whew! Scary! And then occasionally exciting and freeing.

You?

The Land of Not and Nothing

This land of Not/Nothing is best viewed from notness
Obviously not and nothing are not the same. To gain access to nothing, be present to notness.

Ok, what the hell am I talking about?

Is this some sort of idealistic gibberish? Am I an over-the-hill elder waxing on about stupid ideas? It could be. Sometimes even I wonder. I certainly don't think of this as the truth. So I write in the frame of mind of "let's see.".

Let's wonder about a bit.

In our language we tend to think of things as absolutes and opposites. If something is not green, it's red. If it's not light it's dark. If it's not left it's right. We have words that we assign as labels to state what something is - to give it a position we can understand. We are programmed - I know the thought of being programmed is repugnant to most people - we are programmed to think in the labels provided by our languages. However in a land of labels notness doesn't compute. We are novices in thinking in terms of what's not.

I don't mean no one can think notness. Many have, many do. Scholars, poets, physicists, religious leaders, philosophers, and yes, just ordinary people, get notness. Notness has been in human language, writings, and teachings for thousands of years. Of course I'm not just talking about western cultures. And for the most part we dismiss it as oddness.

What do I mean by notness? When something is, there is a corresponding state is not. So red is both red and not red. Therefore if something is not red, it doesn't need to be green, or blue, or yellow. It can just be the state of not red. I don't mean there's a real thing called not red. I mean there's a way of thinking not red - a way of relating to a state of being not red.

The simplest way of saying it is if something is not red it's just not red. Period. We don't have to go on and make it something else, some other color, another label. We can just relate to it as not red. Of course using color here is only as an example.

If I said to you someone was not friendly, where does your mind go? What label do you immediately/automatically assume applies, or do you think I mean to have applied, to that person? For most people, stopping at not friendly short circuits their life long programming. Most think what I meant was to say that person was nasty, or grumpy, or unfriendly, or any one of any number of other labels. And they go on to interact with me as though I said whatever they thought I meant from their historical programmed labeling routines. However, I didn't say any of their characteristics applied to that person of reference. I simply said not friendly. What happens if we just stop at not friendly? Where does that leave us? Well if you can short circuit your automatic need to add another label and just be present to standing in not friendly, you have access to notness. Sort of a strange place to stand, yes?

If you doubt what I'm saying pay attention to what you think when I say I am not Christian. I won't attempt to assume what you do with that, and I suspect it's not complimentary. If you live where I live here in the bible belt, it's an immediate red flag. It has all kinds of immediate alternative labels, meanings and consequences. It could mean I am not to be trusted, respected, or included. It means I am to be excluded, maybe shunned, or at least avoided. A few might wonder, since I openly refer to some of my Jewish friends, "Is he a closet Jew?" Lately they might go so far as to wonder if I'm a Muslim. Atheist? Maybe Humanist? Or how about Buddhist? Something! Nope. Just not Christian.

And not Christian doesn't mean all the other baggage that immediately gets added. It doesn't mean I'm not a good person or don't have ideals. It doesn't mean I think Christians are my enemy, or any of a host of other things that get lumped into Christian narratives. It does mean I do not believe in Christian religious doctrine. And I don't believe in God.

God occurs for me as a man made invention, authored in an age of superstition, as a means of assigning responsibility for our plights in life to someone or something "out there". It leaves us off the hook. Witness our denial of global warming and the consequences of it.

I don't go to these lengths in such an emotion laden arena not because of my spiritual preferences. Instead I want to trigger our automatic need to label - our brain's programming for naming, labeling, and categorizing. Our brains scream - we are driven to think and act in the domain of isness - for some way to grasp a reality, and any kind of reality, just so it has a label.

We have to have something be an is. So we have little or no facility to listen for what is not. Being present to what is not requires no more than being. It's a quiet state. It requires no thought, no processing, no conclusions, no alternative labeling. Notness is a peaceful state.

Your secret

The only reason you can't see how fantastic you are, is that you've been keeping it a secret.

Having a cold when you're a senior

Having a cold when you're a senior is like being in a tube of ice.
It's hard to swim in ice.

My aging brain

It's become abundantly obvious that I can no longer stand noise and sound distractions. I noticed that I can no longer read when a TV is playing that I can hear, especially when a commercial blares forth.

I'm sure the people who create these commercials have done lots of research. They know exactly what pitch, duration, loudness, and timbre to use to require attention when anyone is within range. I noticed while reading in bed the other night that if the TV was playing, I could not read.

I was annoyed by the sound of the TV and began to wonder what was going on. I used to be able to do all sorts of things that required my attention, with a TV playing in the background. But no more.

I realized that when reading, I was actually speaking the words on the page to myself as I progressed through the narrative. And the TV in the background was drowning out the voice in my head as it recited the words I was reading so I couldn't follow the book. I had to turn off the TV.

As I got conscious to what was happening, I realized there are now lots of everyday examples where I can no longer stand to be around sounds that attract - sounds being predominant, more so than sights, or smells, etc.

Even small tasks and motor skills now require much fuller conscious attention, such that actions that used to seem to be automatic, no longer are (automatic). They now require my direct attention.

Driving for me has always been a completely attention focused act. I never have liked to drive with the radio playing, or even talk to others in the car with me. And in several almost disastrous driving incidents during our married life that focus has saved our lives by allowing very quick reactions to pending (seemingly certain-to-happen) collisions.

It's occurring to me that a lot of my ordinary actions through the day now require that kind of focus. Now even walking down the stairs, when not paying attention, can result in a life threatening fall or injury.

My aging brain seems to only have one operating track and it requires that the engineer be fully awake and paying attention.

Why clowns are funny

The clown wears his pain on his sleeve.
What's really funny about his act
is that he thinks no one can see it.

What's even more hilarious
is that no one can.

That's why everyone laughs.