My aging brain

It's become abundantly obvious that I can no longer stand noise and sound distractions. I noticed that I can no longer read when a TV is playing that I can hear, especially when a commercial blares forth.

I'm sure the people who create these commercials have done lots of research. They know exactly what pitch, duration, loudness, and timbre to use to require attention when anyone is within range. I noticed while reading in bed the other night that if the TV was playing, I could not read.

I was annoyed by the sound of the TV and began to wonder what was going on. I used to be able to do all sorts of things that required my attention, with a TV playing in the background. But no more.

I realized that when reading, I was actually speaking the words on the page to myself as I progressed through the narrative. And the TV in the background was drowning out the voice in my head as it recited the words I was reading so I couldn't follow the book. I had to turn off the TV.

As I got conscious to what was happening, I realized there are now lots of everyday examples where I can no longer stand to be around sounds that attract - sounds being predominant, more so than sights, or smells, etc.

Even small tasks and motor skills now require much fuller conscious attention, such that actions that used to seem to be automatic, no longer are (automatic). They now require my direct attention.

Driving for me has always been a completely attention focused act. I never have liked to drive with the radio playing, or even talk to others in the car with me. And in several almost disastrous driving incidents during our married life that focus has saved our lives by allowing very quick reactions to pending (seemingly certain-to-happen) collisions.

It's occurring to me that a lot of my ordinary actions through the day now require that kind of focus. Now even walking down the stairs, when not paying attention, can result in a life threatening fall or injury.

My aging brain seems to only have one operating track and it requires that the engineer be fully awake and paying attention.