Parenting

Yesterday I went to see Avatar with my daughter. It was a momentous movie. Unbelievable digital effects. I kept wondering where James Cameron got the imagination to create this over-the-edge fairy tail. And it was good to see the Indians win against overwhelming forces for once. Having grown up in the era of westerns where the Indians were always the bad guys, it's a refreshing departure. Christine & I went to a bar afterward and enjoyed an Irish coffee and talked about our lives. Even though we live only a block from each other we don't often sit and talk like that.

Part of getting older is knowing that your children are making it - are able to take care of themselves - and are competent to deal with what life throws at them. Both of ours are and it's an acknowledge to Anne and I that we did at least one thing right. Or well ere, we have two children, so we did two things right.

It's interesting to watch when our children want to bounce things off of us - without asking for advice, of course. They're checking out their strategies and tactics to see if they get a negative or positive reaction. Typically we don't offer advice. We just listen. But they know if we think they are way off track we won't hesitate to say so. It's also interesting that those instances when we think they are way off track are very rare.

We sometimes hear complaints from other parents our age about their adult children's behaviors, or marriages, or "parenting mistakes", etc. It's not that their views are right or wrong. It's that they are expressing their own dismay, and somehow some kind of personal short coming, a kind of lament regarding what they experience as an indictment of their parenting. Still I have compassion for them when I hear these complaints as I am clear how tenuous this whole business called success really is.

When we're younger, we don't necessarily see all the risks. We just charge into life, being immortal and unstoppable and not confronting all the potential pitfalls. Maybe that lack of fear is the source of success, I don't know. Later in life when I look back, I sometimes marvel at some of the things I did, the risks I took, and wonder how I managed, or we managed to get through those situations. We could call it luck, but I think it's more like the power of intention.

I'm now watching our children do similar things, jumping where I would now be cautious, taking on the "next thing" seemingly without worry or hesitation, and dealing with our down economy like it's just another thing to handle in life. Geez.

Is worrying about a down economy a senior thing? Or does everyone do that?

Those senior moments

I've often thought about writing a book about this process we call aging. Or should I say I've thought about it off and on for the the last 15 years or so. seems like a long time to thing about something and not do anything about it. Then while walking today I had the epiphany that for me, that was one of those senior moments. I could call them aging moments, but somehow senior moments seems more attractive.

Now that my walk/run is done - I have to do that kind of exercise thing when I'm in the mood, usually mid-afternoon, and I'm usually in the mood anywhere from 3 to 7 times a week - there's another senior moment to confront. I have to get on my Teeter Hang Up and hang upside down for five minutes to stretch my back as it tightens up when I do my run walk, or any other kind of exercise for that matter. It didn't use to do that, you know. Back in my fifties when I ran everyday I could just go run and come back and take a shower without worrying about my back tightening up. Interesting stuff, isn't it?

Now some of you may be wondering why I need to exercise. I'm a fairly healthy 68 year old with one dead kidney (they tell me that happened when I was young but no one caught on). I'm probably 20 pounds over weight, well actually not probably, I just am. As a consequence I discovered last fall when I was going through this nightmare experience with the healthcare system, and trying to figure out what was going on with my kidney, that I had to exercise to be able to sleep at night. Ah the secrets of senior moments! You see it took the doctors I was working with about six months of testing, inspections in unmentionable places, procedures, examinations, and misdiagnoses, and for a bunch of that time, I couldn't eat or exercise or do much of anything, including of course, exercise.

Somewhere along the way I started having pains and cramps in my legs when I was sleeping. This is all probably not that interesting to most people, but it was dammed painful and annoying to me at the time. Then walla! One day I got disgusted and decided to take a hike in the woods. I was pretty weak from that long layoff but I managed to get an hour's hike in, and wouldn't you know it, my leg pains disappeared that very night! Now I'm not the smartest sheep in the flock, but even I could work that one out, and so I pushed myself to get in those regular walks, which have now have migrated to some walking and some running. I usualy go for about a half hour or sometimes when it's raining or snowing I detour into the local woods and make it a longer occasion.

Ok, enough senior giberish for today. I can't cover everything in one post.