Sometimes I'm grumpy but it can be inside of being happy - as in being happy being grumpy, or maybe it's those occasional melancholies than come on, sometimes sweet (Ray Charles singing Without a Song) and sometimes without a tune, then it's just the laments.
The clue for me is whether or not there's a tune playing in my head. When I'm happy there's always some song being sung by the voice in my head. It doesn't seem related to what the song is about, just that there's a song or there isn't. When there isn't, life gets hard, and I feel a sense of sadness.
When i notice the tunes are missing, I listen to Eva Cassidy sing Song Birds, or maybe K.D. Lang singing Hallelujah with the BBC Orchestra, and the music starts to play again. I think I'll have those two songs played at my funeral. It will mean I died happy.
